For you, my favorite ADHD child

For you, my favorite ADHD child

This is it, we've finally received the diagnosis we were expecting. We both knew something was "off", but we didn't know what. I thought you were just resisting authority, that you lacked motivation, that you simply refused to cooperate and wanted to control me. I was so wrong. I apologize. I understand now. I can see you asking me for the thousandth time with tears in your eyes why your mind always seems to drift off. There are no words to describe the despair that I see in your eyes every time you hand me a test with a "D" or an "E" written at the top of the page. Oh, how we hate those two letters you and I! My heart breaks every time I hear you say, "Don't worry Mom, I will make up for it on the next test." Just writing these few lines makes my eyes fill with tears once again. We both knew you had to work twice as hard as the others in your class. We knew that each test was a true battle and that to succeed and move on to the next grade, we needed to put are boxing gloves on. We also understood that we would be exhausted by the end of the school year. Today, we understand that your battle has a name: ADHD. We also understand that even with the best boxing gloves available, we were fighting a losing battle.

I am sorry. I wish things weren't the way they are. I wish that when I "made" you, I had given you all the puzzle pieces you needed so that we didn't have to think about all of this now. On this level, I unintentionally failed you. It is difficult to accept the fact that in life, we can't control everything.

Today, I can promise this: we will fight this battle together. I will always be there for you when you lose hope and when tears run down your face, but also to celebrate your victories. I know there will be victories too! I grant you the right to press pause and take a break every now and then, just long enough to catch your breath. I will take advantage of these breaks to breathe too, because I know I will need it. I do however have one request: never stop moving forward, no matter how many obstacles line your path, our path. Let me repeat that I will always be there, we will move along this path together. Life has taught me many lessons. The books I have read have taught me many concepts, but nothing has taught me how to be the mother of a child with ADHD. That is something I will discover on my own, as I accompany you. I am sure I will make mistakes. I apologize in advance. I am not perfect, but I will do my best for you, my favorite ADHD child. Above all, please do not forget that there is nothing (even remotely) greater than my love for you.

Mom xxx